Commerce Bank - Goodbye, Assholes!

Yesterday was a good day. I got dressed and drove to my local branch of Commerce Bank.

"I'd like to close my account", I said.
"Did you experience a problem?", the teller asked.
"Commerce Bank is the worst bank I've ever dealt with. I've never been treated so badly," I said.
"This branch?", the woman asked.
"Especially this branch," I said.

Switching banks is difficult. With Direct Deposit, ACH, Automatic Bill-Pays, and Debit cards, getting out can be a challenge.

But they had to go. They have the worst customer service of ANY institution I've had to deal with. They make the DMV look like the Ritz Carlton.

If you go to the lobby of any Commerce bank, you will see a poster of how Commerce won the honor of being one of America's top 10 banks from Bank Director Magazine.

What they don't tell you is the criteria for winning. Customer Service? Ha! Customer Loyalty? Right. Account holder Satisfaction? Hardly. These are greedy bankers, after all.

No, this rating is strictly on profitability measures. Which comes down to taking more of your customers' money. Indeed, they do that well:

...Assuming that profitability is the single most important performance measurement of any public company, the Scorecard gives the two profitability metrics a full weighting in the final score for each institution.

...In recent years, the bank has also grown its payments systems business—including a variety of credit, debit, and corporate purchase cards—and the resulting fee-based revenue has helped boost its profitability despite the effects of a flat yield curve.

This means that the only area Commerce Bank is growing is in fees. If you're a victim customer of Commerce Bank, I'm sure you already know that.

I'm just happy to no longer count myself in your ranks.